Ok, it's been a while since I updated this blog, so i guess it's time to do so. When I entered in the Proforma Phase, I figured that the next options would be cake. Well, not so. I completed my proforma, the 50 month projection, policies and procedures, and sales policies. We were working on the premise of gaining some seed money to get started. When we started seeking funding, I started to get a bad taste in my mouth. For one, it seemed as if the potential investors wanted to change our entire business plan to make it conform to other existing business's. That really bothered me, since our business model was a strong departure to existing solutions. By changing what we were, your risk loosing the very passion you had dreamed of. One of the ideals of entepreneurs have is the passion to do something they want to do. It take determination, skill, and humility to be successful. If we hold to the ideals of achieving perfection alway in play, you can balance Logic with Risk.
Balancing your resonsibilites with enjoyment will translate efficiently into higher productivity from your exployee's. I've been around so many environments that do not approach their day to day responsibilities with zeal or in some cases understanding. I used to be guilty of the same problems I have high lighted above. I finally changed my approach to daily management with one of respect and honor. I learned that without the support of your workforce, you won't stand a chance to succeed. You will see morale increase, productivity increase, and the overall well being of your company increase as well.
Ok Back to my delima. I can use some insight as well, so please email me with information. As it sits right now, I'm developed my business strategy and am working on other income generation techniques to fund my dream.. Who knows, it may work..
Remember, Risks are mere Opportunities in disguise. A mantra that everybody needs to follow.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Should CBS's Katie Couric share her anchor chair?
Does anybody remember the experiment with Dan Rather and Connie Chung? For the longest time, ratings seemed to be appropriate, and in the air of change, those in charge thought it was time to put a female in the role to drum up ratings. That person was the well qualified Connie Chung. It was obvious at the time that the personalities that occupied the chair were larger than life, and when you put two individuals that felt they could do that particular job better than the other, the wild west came to the set.
For the longest time, the disdain they held for each other was not kept private. Onset tirades blended to the street and off camera. Not to say that Katie wouldn't have a chance to share, with her experience with the Today's show, however, when you reach the pinnacle of your career just to have someone say you now have to share it, would be a blow to any personality.
Like the past, if they try to occupy the other chair, the only thing that will suffer, will be the news that is delivered. It will become tainted with ill will and disorderly competition that would be very detrimental to Katie as well as the co-chair.
If CBS feels that the show would benefit, they need to start a marketing campaign with two individuals that they personally would groom to take the role. To expect anything else from on-air personalities would degrade any progress their careers afforded them.
For the longest time, the disdain they held for each other was not kept private. Onset tirades blended to the street and off camera. Not to say that Katie wouldn't have a chance to share, with her experience with the Today's show, however, when you reach the pinnacle of your career just to have someone say you now have to share it, would be a blow to any personality.
Like the past, if they try to occupy the other chair, the only thing that will suffer, will be the news that is delivered. It will become tainted with ill will and disorderly competition that would be very detrimental to Katie as well as the co-chair.
If CBS feels that the show would benefit, they need to start a marketing campaign with two individuals that they personally would groom to take the role. To expect anything else from on-air personalities would degrade any progress their careers afforded them.
Why some children are so angry, and how to deal with it
Being a parent breathes a whole new light on how you try to understand children. There were times, that I would bend over backwards to make a child happy when they looked anything but happy. Now, I find myself looking at my own children through a prism. I can hear the inflections in their voice, the annotations in their actions, and the other subtle moods and actions that you wouldn't notice otherwise.
I see alot of me in my children, which bring up a wave of emotions that I thought were successfully suppressed. Try to put yourself into their shoes, like the first day of school, moving to a new neighborhood, divorce or marriage, death of family members, and/or financial issues that affect their immediate family. If you look at your daily lives and reflect on what influenced your emotions. Take that feeling an add a lack of understanding and you are only scratching the surface of what our children feel.
I've found that over time, the stress level that I introduce into the house has caused more tension and emotion. After watching the effect that raw emotions had on my children, I decided to review my habits and how I can help them. In order to change, I needed to understand what they were feeling, how to help. I started listening to them, not just hearing, but listening to what they said and how they said it. I noticed that some days were better than others, and on the harder days, I started talking with them. not just speaking at them, but really trying to incorporate their days into our conversations. The more we talked, the more I started to understand what they were going through. This understanding allowed for better dialog and better relationships.
My oldest is now 13, and although I know that some of the more interesting times are yet to come, I hope that the respect brought through understanding will allow each of us to face each obstacle as a true family, With Love and compassion.
I see alot of me in my children, which bring up a wave of emotions that I thought were successfully suppressed. Try to put yourself into their shoes, like the first day of school, moving to a new neighborhood, divorce or marriage, death of family members, and/or financial issues that affect their immediate family. If you look at your daily lives and reflect on what influenced your emotions. Take that feeling an add a lack of understanding and you are only scratching the surface of what our children feel.
I've found that over time, the stress level that I introduce into the house has caused more tension and emotion. After watching the effect that raw emotions had on my children, I decided to review my habits and how I can help them. In order to change, I needed to understand what they were feeling, how to help. I started listening to them, not just hearing, but listening to what they said and how they said it. I noticed that some days were better than others, and on the harder days, I started talking with them. not just speaking at them, but really trying to incorporate their days into our conversations. The more we talked, the more I started to understand what they were going through. This understanding allowed for better dialog and better relationships.
My oldest is now 13, and although I know that some of the more interesting times are yet to come, I hope that the respect brought through understanding will allow each of us to face each obstacle as a true family, With Love and compassion.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Baby Alert is about to be raised to Def Con 2
This is a little disconcerting on many levels. Lately, I've been having these dreams that move me forward to our due date. In these dreams, everything is going smoothly, like a well oiled machine. I should have know from that point that I was dreaming. I say that because you have to know me and my luck. I have often wanted to change my name to Murphy's Law, with all of the crap going on around me. I keep dreaming about twins, and if that's the case, I'm going to pass out.
We're getting ready to do an ultrasound to see if we have one or more babies, as well as to see how healthy it is. We've always been careful during her pregnancies, however, I tend to gain the weight, I get bloated, and my clothes just don't feel right. Hee Hee.
Thank said, the calculator is at the bottom of this blog. I hope you read it and please give me any input or ideas on how to make my wife more comfortable during her pregnancy.
166 days until the BIG Explosion!!
We're getting ready to do an ultrasound to see if we have one or more babies, as well as to see how healthy it is. We've always been careful during her pregnancies, however, I tend to gain the weight, I get bloated, and my clothes just don't feel right. Hee Hee.
Thank said, the calculator is at the bottom of this blog. I hope you read it and please give me any input or ideas on how to make my wife more comfortable during her pregnancy.
166 days until the BIG Explosion!!
Baby Alert is about to be raised to Def Con 2
This is a little disconcerting on many levels. Lately, I've been having these dreams that move me forward to our due date. In these dreams, everything is going smoothly, like a well oiled machine. I should have know from that point that I was dreaming. I say that because you have to know me and my luck. I have often wanted to change my name to Murphy's Law, with all of the crap going on around me. I keep dreaming about twins, and if that's the case, I'm going to pass out.
We're getting ready to do an ultrasound to see if we have one or more babies, as well as to see how healthy it is. We've always been careful during her pregnancies, however, I tend to gain the weight, I get bloated, and my clothes just don't feel right. Hee Hee.
Thank said, the calculator is at the bottom of this blog. I hope you read it and please give me any input or ideas on how to make my wife more comfortable during her pregnancy.
We're getting ready to do an ultrasound to see if we have one or more babies, as well as to see how healthy it is. We've always been careful during her pregnancies, however, I tend to gain the weight, I get bloated, and my clothes just don't feel right. Hee Hee.
Thank said, the calculator is at the bottom of this blog. I hope you read it and please give me any input or ideas on how to make my wife more comfortable during her pregnancy.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
When are you Expecting
Just wanted to let you know how much time is left until we have our little SEEMORE!!!!!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
A Day In the Life
Fear
What is it about fear that defines who or what we become.
Is it the idea of loosing control, and our desire to hold onto it for as long as possible, or is it the inane desire to progress into a controlled atmosphere?
I truly cannot explain it for myself. For the past two years, I have been at one job or another, and see to find a position that is in the process of being phased out or transitioned completely, which leaves me looking for new prospects. The obviously invoked a since of dread and in some cases, loathing towards my employers. It has put me in a state of welfare, and the need to ask others for help. Which, if you knew me, would know that that very act seems to strip any dignity that I may have preserved. I find myself in a place that is relatively unknown to me, and that scares me to death.
The idea of having to survive, and not knowing how to do that is just tearing me apart. I see what others have, what they are doing, what I can't provide to the ones that I care about, and it has put me in a place of disgust. Disgust at what I've become, disgust from what I was, and disgust at the prospect of not changing in the near future.What is wrong with me?
To answer this question, let's parse out the mental to the physical issues. Physical issues range from multiple surgeries that were an attempt to fix my knee's and stomach, to disorders such as Cushings, GIRD, Crones, Centralized Gout, Compression of my lower back that sends spasms and numbness to my lower extremities, calcium deficiency that is starting to claim my teeth.
With all of that, I'm often asked how I can keep my spirits up. Well, with a 70 times more likely to get stomach and esophageal cancer, multiple joint replacements, etcetera, if I was to continue to think about all of this, it would drive me insane with worry and anger towards the world. Now, with three children and a wonderful wife, it wouldn't be fair to them to put each one through a world of grief and anger that would most likely ruin their lives. My legacy in this world is my family, and if I need to endure a lot of pain to do so, so be it.What are my goals in life?
If anybody tells you that life is simple, they certainly have not attempted to live it to the fullest. Like every challenge, life will continue
to find ways to keep you on your toes. It is how you deal with each curveball that defines who you are going to be. I am not here to tell you that I am a perfect example, just the contrary. I suck at trying to live life, I can safely say that I'm not even close to tackling my challenges. That is the fun of it. That is what keeps me on my toes, makes the desire to continue flow through my veins. I am here today, following my aspirations from the lessons that I learned for myself, from my parents, from historical figures like President Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, President Kennedy, and Martin Luther King. Were these people perfect, NO they weren't, and they accepted this and continued to better themselves, and by direct result, improved the lives of everybody else they touched. With everything I have learned, it's not the amount of pain that defines, you, it's your will to live and survive that defines the character that in the end, defines who you are.Are you Game?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Welcome To Me
Welcome to the Solarfinder page for Astronomy and everything pointing back to it. I have been a recreational astronomer for 14 years, and have been following NASA and ESA for quite a while. I followed the initial launch of Hubble and the lens debacle that shortly ensued. The funniest part of that was even though the the images were out of focus, they were still alot better than what would be found on terrestrial based telescopes. Now, with the era of Google and Space.com, the everyday enthusiast can veiw the skies for free and in a fairly friendly user interface.
Browsing some of the pages on the net, I found a pretty good site that provides users a base of information for star gazing. Go to http://www.accuweather.com/astronomy.asp and enter in your zip or the location of yoru choice. The following pages provide blogs, video, images, hobbiest portal, and comment forums for anybody interested in everything from basic lunar phase to nebulae to equipment. Accuweather.com is a weather site by nature, but they have teamed up with various sites to provide a good portal to check sky clearness and decent information on constellations and other heavenly starward objects.
Take a minute to view this site and browse the information. Report back and let me know if the information was useful, and any other sites to view. I will check this on a daily basis and enter in more information hopefully on a similar schedule.
Browsing some of the pages on the net, I found a pretty good site that provides users a base of information for star gazing. Go to http://www.accuweather.com/astronomy.asp and enter in your zip or the location of yoru choice. The following pages provide blogs, video, images, hobbiest portal, and comment forums for anybody interested in everything from basic lunar phase to nebulae to equipment. Accuweather.com is a weather site by nature, but they have teamed up with various sites to provide a good portal to check sky clearness and decent information on constellations and other heavenly starward objects.
Take a minute to view this site and browse the information. Report back and let me know if the information was useful, and any other sites to view. I will check this on a daily basis and enter in more information hopefully on a similar schedule.
Welcome To Me
Welcome to the Solarfinder page for Astronomy and everything pointing back to it. I have been a recreational astronomer for 14 years, and have been following NASA and ESA for quite a while. I followed the initial launch of Hubble and the lens debacle that shortly ensued. The funniest part of that was even though the the images were out of focus, they were still alot better than what would be found on terrestrial based telescopes. Now, with the era of Google and Space.com, the everyday enthusiast can veiw the skies for free and in a fairly friendly user interface.
Browsing some of the pages on the net, I found a pretty good site that provides users a base of information for star gazing. Go to http://www.accuweather.com/astronomy.asp and enter in your zip or the location of yoru choice. The following pages provide blogs, video, images, hobbiest portal, and comment forums for anybody interested in everything from basic lunar phase to nebulae to equipment. Accuweather.com is a weather site by nature, but they have teamed up with various sites to provide a good portal to check sky clearness and decent information on constellations and other heavenly starward objects.
Take a minute to view this site and browse the information. Report back and let me know if the information was useful, and any other sites to view. I will check this on a daily basis and enter in more information hopefully on a similar schedule.
Browsing some of the pages on the net, I found a pretty good site that provides users a base of information for star gazing. Go to http://www.accuweather.com/astronomy.asp and enter in your zip or the location of yoru choice. The following pages provide blogs, video, images, hobbiest portal, and comment forums for anybody interested in everything from basic lunar phase to nebulae to equipment. Accuweather.com is a weather site by nature, but they have teamed up with various sites to provide a good portal to check sky clearness and decent information on constellations and other heavenly starward objects.
Take a minute to view this site and browse the information. Report back and let me know if the information was useful, and any other sites to view. I will check this on a daily basis and enter in more information hopefully on a similar schedule.
What's on TV
Ok, It's getting late and I just noticed a disturbing trend on TV. It seems to be the era of dating services, and the ads on TV portray young 20 something trying to be sexy and acting like they are the typical demographic. OK, I do not believe this is true, however, the commercials are a little rediculous. To the point that they're funny to watch. I can sit here all night and poke fun at the wanna be model/actress's on these commercials, but I will not succomb to my desires (hee hee).
It was funny until my 13 year old daughter walked in and expressed an interest in the commercial. From my own point of view, I thought the commercial was funny, however, when my daughter experienced an interest, it made me sick to my stomach. Five years ago, this type of stuff wasn't on until late at night; now with the advent of cable, you see more and more sexual content on commercials, TV shows, and even infomercials. Between Viagra, Penis Enlargement, Ribbed for your pleasure sex content, it's amazing that people are questioning the early maturity of our youth. I remember when TV was considered virgin in respect to todays content, so I can safely say that although more liberal than my wife, I still feel weary about what is coming up next or what commercial is going to be shown.
Let me know if you think I'm too conservative, liberal, or just plain off base.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
What is on TV?
Ok, It's getting late and I just noticed a disturbing trend on TV. It seems to be the era of dating services, and the ads on TV portray young 20 something trying to be sexy and acting like they are the typical demographic. OK, I do not believe this is true, however, the commercials are a little rediculous. To the point that they're funny to watch. I can sit here all night and poke fun at the wanna be model/actress's on these commercials, but I will not succomb to my desires (hee hee).
It was funny until my 13 year old daughter walked in and expressed an interest in the commercial. From my own point of view, I thought the commercial was funny, however, when my daughter experienced an interest, it made me sick to my stomach. Five years ago, this type of stuff wasn't on until late at night; now with the advent of cable, you see more and more sexual content on commercials, TV shows, and even infomercials. Between Viagra, Penis Enlargement, Ribbed for your pleasure sex content, it's amazing that people are questioning the early maturity of our youth. I remember when TV was considered virgin in respect to todays content, so I can safely say that although more liberal than my wife, I still feel weary about what is coming up next or what commercial is going to be shown.
Let me know if you think I'm too conservative, liberal, or just plain off base.
While you do this, and while you think and ponder the lessons given, Please reflect on your situation, the scenario unfolding daily that has some sort of impact on you. Good Luck!
It was funny until my 13 year old daughter walked in and expressed an interest in the commercial. From my own point of view, I thought the commercial was funny, however, when my daughter experienced an interest, it made me sick to my stomach. Five years ago, this type of stuff wasn't on until late at night; now with the advent of cable, you see more and more sexual content on commercials, TV shows, and even infomercials. Between Viagra, Penis Enlargement, Ribbed for your pleasure sex content, it's amazing that people are questioning the early maturity of our youth. I remember when TV was considered virgin in respect to todays content, so I can safely say that although more liberal than my wife, I still feel weary about what is coming up next or what commercial is going to be shown.
Let me know if you think I'm too conservative, liberal, or just plain off base.
While you do this, and while you think and ponder the lessons given, Please reflect on your situation, the scenario unfolding daily that has some sort of impact on you. Good Luck!
Home and Bothered
Between contracts and running out of money is a little stressful. Where do we go and what do we do when we find ourselves into this very type of situation? If you have an answer, please let me know. My bishop counseled me in trying to have a weekly date with my wife, and to try to have fun. You know, release some stress that may bottled up. That is a terrific thought if there's some money, you know, 5 bucks or so. If you don't you find a problem of gas money, emergency money in the event something happens. I find myself sitting at home trying to find myself in this ever growing situation.
The economy appears to be in a tight spiral downward over this credit crunch. In case this is read in the future, we are in a potential problem arising for free flowing credit and the lessening of reqard for credit risk. If you are in credit, you will know terms like debt to income ratio, asset allocation, etc, and for some reason, with the ever growing housing market, the desire to find their place into this burgoening industry, banks and other financial institutions have relaxed their credit requirements to lend to those with not so savory credit. Thus a higher credit risk, and when they lent on Arms, floating interest rates, etc, customers have found themselves in a world of hurt when the Fed's rose the interest rates to curb inflationary factors. By doing this very thing, people started loosing the very asset they pursued, their homes. With foreclosures on the rise, these financial institutions were finding themselves in a credit crunch themselves and unable to extend their own lines of credit with the very risk they had helped to create. When that happened, companies were closing their doors because they were unable to fund these deals. In an attempt to correct or curb their potential loss, they also made it extremely difficult on securing financing on new applications, even those that had a very stable credit history were being declined.
There have been posts of companies pulling out of their deals right before the customer signed their closing papers. As I type this, the Fed's are currently lowering the short term discount rates, the rate at which financial institutions can borrow funds, and since it's now lower, it has allowed consumer confidence to rise. With this rise, they may also lower other interest points to help curb other negative inflationary rates. Most likely, this will reinforce the negative lending habits that were so relative in the late 90's and early part of this century. I believe in history, in that we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. That includes short term as well, and I hope this correction has scared others into being responsible with their lending practices.
I can go on with other examples of incompeting and irresponsible lending practices, but I would like to hear from anybody else about what they are tired about.
The economy appears to be in a tight spiral downward over this credit crunch. In case this is read in the future, we are in a potential problem arising for free flowing credit and the lessening of reqard for credit risk. If you are in credit, you will know terms like debt to income ratio, asset allocation, etc, and for some reason, with the ever growing housing market, the desire to find their place into this burgoening industry, banks and other financial institutions have relaxed their credit requirements to lend to those with not so savory credit. Thus a higher credit risk, and when they lent on Arms, floating interest rates, etc, customers have found themselves in a world of hurt when the Fed's rose the interest rates to curb inflationary factors. By doing this very thing, people started loosing the very asset they pursued, their homes. With foreclosures on the rise, these financial institutions were finding themselves in a credit crunch themselves and unable to extend their own lines of credit with the very risk they had helped to create. When that happened, companies were closing their doors because they were unable to fund these deals. In an attempt to correct or curb their potential loss, they also made it extremely difficult on securing financing on new applications, even those that had a very stable credit history were being declined.
There have been posts of companies pulling out of their deals right before the customer signed their closing papers. As I type this, the Fed's are currently lowering the short term discount rates, the rate at which financial institutions can borrow funds, and since it's now lower, it has allowed consumer confidence to rise. With this rise, they may also lower other interest points to help curb other negative inflationary rates. Most likely, this will reinforce the negative lending habits that were so relative in the late 90's and early part of this century. I believe in history, in that we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. That includes short term as well, and I hope this correction has scared others into being responsible with their lending practices.
I can go on with other examples of incompeting and irresponsible lending practices, but I would like to hear from anybody else about what they are tired about.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Experience in Life
Finding the soul of a person through their words becomes an art in itself. I have been revisiting every conversation that I have had over the past 5 years to see exactly where my life has made its specific turns. How did I end up here? Why am I languishing over past jobs like they were appendages? I see my life as if I was the ship stuck with in the glass bottle with no where to turn, and no hopes of escaping in one piece. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family, since they are the ones that I wake up every morning with a drive to help them succeed. I just cannot seem to get the same motivation for myself, which in turn, makes me miserable in all that I do.
Am I depressed? No, I really do not think that I am. Now, the medication would be an interesting play on this scenario, but for now, I will leave it out. I must take the fifth amendment on this question, only because I am finding myself facing a part of my psychie that I do not like. Rather, part of myself that does not seem as flattering. I rate myself as a wannabe hack, one that has aspirations to do more, however, fail to complete anything that he starts. Again, my recollection of events. You ask those around me, I do a good job at anything that I set my mind on, and I exceed expectations. Again, the bilateral view of my life only bears down further on how screwed up I really am. In high school, I used to councel students that callin into my own suicide prevention line. I had a large number of students from all over calling me to just talk through their problems. I actually had a purpose in life, you know, something that actually helped people. I can pretty much add up how I feel about myself from a series of events that happened a long time ago. I was a sophmore in high school and my friends were partying pretty good. Ok, they were out of their minds wasted, but I wasn't. I had stepped out for a moment when I heard the loud pops, you know, the sound that m80 fireworks sound like. Loud and hollow metallic sound emenating from the room that I had just left. Apparently, the person's house that we were at had a loaded gun under their couch. This is what they were able to pick up, I had walked in after they were playing a game called quarters, which is a game that the person that doesn't make the quarter into the others glass, they had to drink or chug the entire contents. Well, that mixed with some habituates, caused them to escalate their behaviors. Mind you, I had been gone for about 10 minutes before the accident happened, but they pulled a gun out and decided to play Russian Roulette. My good friend pointed the gun and pretended to shoot the gun to show the others that nothing would happen. Well, the next event would change the lives of so many people. The next person proceeded to put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger, and with the gun being fully loaded, managed to dislodge his face onto the other two. They panicked and while grabbing the gun, it apparently went off shooting my friend into the throat, ending is life immediately. The third, being in an escalated paranoid delusion cause by the trauma around him took his own life. I had heard each shot, the entire event took less than thirty seconds, but in that time, an eternity had passed.
The parents didn't want to hold services for any of them, the school swept it under the carpet, and the media used it as an example of students gone awry. I took over 200 calls in the following weeks, and each person that called me didn't know that I was the only witness to what they were doing before this awful event.
I do not have any point to this, however, I will be following up with some more content to possibly do each person justice, and provide some insight to their lives and how they touched so many people.
If you have any stories that you want to share, please do so. Sharing will lift the vail of anger and pain, since sharing with others that care, you can start to heal. It's been over 15 years since my tragedy, and I am finally taking my own advice.
Am I depressed? No, I really do not think that I am. Now, the medication would be an interesting play on this scenario, but for now, I will leave it out. I must take the fifth amendment on this question, only because I am finding myself facing a part of my psychie that I do not like. Rather, part of myself that does not seem as flattering. I rate myself as a wannabe hack, one that has aspirations to do more, however, fail to complete anything that he starts. Again, my recollection of events. You ask those around me, I do a good job at anything that I set my mind on, and I exceed expectations. Again, the bilateral view of my life only bears down further on how screwed up I really am. In high school, I used to councel students that callin into my own suicide prevention line. I had a large number of students from all over calling me to just talk through their problems. I actually had a purpose in life, you know, something that actually helped people. I can pretty much add up how I feel about myself from a series of events that happened a long time ago. I was a sophmore in high school and my friends were partying pretty good. Ok, they were out of their minds wasted, but I wasn't. I had stepped out for a moment when I heard the loud pops, you know, the sound that m80 fireworks sound like. Loud and hollow metallic sound emenating from the room that I had just left. Apparently, the person's house that we were at had a loaded gun under their couch. This is what they were able to pick up, I had walked in after they were playing a game called quarters, which is a game that the person that doesn't make the quarter into the others glass, they had to drink or chug the entire contents. Well, that mixed with some habituates, caused them to escalate their behaviors. Mind you, I had been gone for about 10 minutes before the accident happened, but they pulled a gun out and decided to play Russian Roulette. My good friend pointed the gun and pretended to shoot the gun to show the others that nothing would happen. Well, the next event would change the lives of so many people. The next person proceeded to put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger, and with the gun being fully loaded, managed to dislodge his face onto the other two. They panicked and while grabbing the gun, it apparently went off shooting my friend into the throat, ending is life immediately. The third, being in an escalated paranoid delusion cause by the trauma around him took his own life. I had heard each shot, the entire event took less than thirty seconds, but in that time, an eternity had passed.
The parents didn't want to hold services for any of them, the school swept it under the carpet, and the media used it as an example of students gone awry. I took over 200 calls in the following weeks, and each person that called me didn't know that I was the only witness to what they were doing before this awful event.
I do not have any point to this, however, I will be following up with some more content to possibly do each person justice, and provide some insight to their lives and how they touched so many people.
If you have any stories that you want to share, please do so. Sharing will lift the vail of anger and pain, since sharing with others that care, you can start to heal. It's been over 15 years since my tragedy, and I am finally taking my own advice.
Experience in Life
Finding the soul of a person through their words becomes an art in itself. I have been revisiting every conversation that I have had over the past 5 years to see exactly where my life has made its specific turns. How did I end up here? Why am I languishing over past jobs like they were appendages? I see my life as if I was the ship stuck with in the glass bottle with no where to turn, and no hopes of escaping in one piece. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family, since they are the ones that I wake up every morning with a drive to help them succeed. I just cannot seem to get the same motivation for myself, which in turn, makes me miserable in all that I do.
Am I depressed? No, I really do not think that I am. Now, the medication would be an interesting play on this scenario, but for now, I will leave it out. I must take the fifth amendment on this question, only because I am finding myself facing a part of my psychie that I do not like. Rather, part of myself that does not seem as flattering. I rate myself as a wannabe hack, one that has aspirations to do more, however, fail to complete anything that he starts. Again, my recollection of events. You ask those around me, I do a good job at anything that I set my mind on, and I exceed expectations. Again, the bilateral view of my life only bears down further on how screwed up I really am. In high school, I used to councel students that callin into my own suicide prevention line. I had a large number of students from all over calling me to just talk through their problems. I actually had a purpose in life, you know, something that actually helped people. I can pretty much add up how I feel about myself from a series of events that happened a long time ago. I was a sophmore in high school and my friends were partying pretty good. Ok, they were out of their minds wasted, but I wasn't. I had stepped out for a moment when I heard the loud pops, you know, the sound that m80 fireworks sound like. Loud and hollow metallic sound emenating from the room that I had just left. Apparently, the person's house that we were at had a loaded gun under their couch. This is what they were able to pick up, I had walked in after they were playing a game called quarters, which is a game that the person that doesn't make the quarter into the others glass, they had to drink or chug the entire contents. Well, that mixed with some barbituates, caused them to escalate their behaviors. Mind you, I had been gone for about 10 minutes before the accident happened, but they pulled a gun out and decided to play Russian Roulette. My good friend pointed the gun and pretended to shoot the gun to show the others that nothing would happen. Well, the next event would change the lives of so many people. The next person proceeded to put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger, and with the gun being fully loaded, managed to dislodge his face onto the other two. They panic'd and while grabbing the gun, it apparently went off shooting my friend into the throat, ending is life immeditately. The third, being in an escalated paranoid delusion cause by the trauma around him took his own life. I had heard each shot, the entire event took less than thirty seconds, but in that time, an eternity had passed.
The parents didn't want to hold services for any of them, the school swept it under the carpent, and the media used it as an example of students gone awry. I took over 200 calls in the following weeks, and each person that called me didn't know that I was the only witness to what they were doing before this awful event.
I do not have any point to this, however, I will be following up with some more content to possibly do each person justice, and provide some insight to their lives and how they touched so many people.
If you have any stories that you want to share, please do so. Sharing will lift the vail of anger and pain, since sharing with others that care, you can start to heal. It's been over 15 years since my tragedy, and I am finally taking my own advice.
Am I depressed? No, I really do not think that I am. Now, the medication would be an interesting play on this scenario, but for now, I will leave it out. I must take the fifth amendment on this question, only because I am finding myself facing a part of my psychie that I do not like. Rather, part of myself that does not seem as flattering. I rate myself as a wannabe hack, one that has aspirations to do more, however, fail to complete anything that he starts. Again, my recollection of events. You ask those around me, I do a good job at anything that I set my mind on, and I exceed expectations. Again, the bilateral view of my life only bears down further on how screwed up I really am. In high school, I used to councel students that callin into my own suicide prevention line. I had a large number of students from all over calling me to just talk through their problems. I actually had a purpose in life, you know, something that actually helped people. I can pretty much add up how I feel about myself from a series of events that happened a long time ago. I was a sophmore in high school and my friends were partying pretty good. Ok, they were out of their minds wasted, but I wasn't. I had stepped out for a moment when I heard the loud pops, you know, the sound that m80 fireworks sound like. Loud and hollow metallic sound emenating from the room that I had just left. Apparently, the person's house that we were at had a loaded gun under their couch. This is what they were able to pick up, I had walked in after they were playing a game called quarters, which is a game that the person that doesn't make the quarter into the others glass, they had to drink or chug the entire contents. Well, that mixed with some barbituates, caused them to escalate their behaviors. Mind you, I had been gone for about 10 minutes before the accident happened, but they pulled a gun out and decided to play Russian Roulette. My good friend pointed the gun and pretended to shoot the gun to show the others that nothing would happen. Well, the next event would change the lives of so many people. The next person proceeded to put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger, and with the gun being fully loaded, managed to dislodge his face onto the other two. They panic'd and while grabbing the gun, it apparently went off shooting my friend into the throat, ending is life immeditately. The third, being in an escalated paranoid delusion cause by the trauma around him took his own life. I had heard each shot, the entire event took less than thirty seconds, but in that time, an eternity had passed.
The parents didn't want to hold services for any of them, the school swept it under the carpent, and the media used it as an example of students gone awry. I took over 200 calls in the following weeks, and each person that called me didn't know that I was the only witness to what they were doing before this awful event.
I do not have any point to this, however, I will be following up with some more content to possibly do each person justice, and provide some insight to their lives and how they touched so many people.
If you have any stories that you want to share, please do so. Sharing will lift the vail of anger and pain, since sharing with others that care, you can start to heal. It's been over 15 years since my tragedy, and I am finally taking my own advice.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Home and Bothered
Between contracts and running out of money is a little stressful. Where do we go and what do we do when we find ourselves into this very type of situation? If you have an answer, please let me know. My bishop counseled me in trying to have a weekly date with my wife, and to try to have fun. You know, release some stress that may bottled up. That is a terrific thought if there's some money, you know, 5 bucks or so. If you don't you find a problem of gas money, emergency money in the event something happens. I find myself sitting at home trying to find myself in this ever growing situation.
The economy appears to be in a tight spiral downward over this credit crunch. In case this is read in the future, we are in a potential problem arising for free flowing credit and the lessening of reqard for credit risk. If you are in credit, you will know terms like debt to income ratio, asset allocation, etc, and for some reason, with the ever growing housing market, the desire to find their place into this burgoening industry, banks and other financial institutions have relaxed their credit requirements to lend to those with not so savory credit. Thus a higher credit risk, and when they lent on Arms, floating interest rates, etc, customers have found themselves in a world of hurt when the Fed's rose the interest rates to curb inflationary factors. By doing this very thing, people started loosing the very asset they pursued, their homes. With foreclosures on the rise, these financial institutions were finding themselves in a credit crunch themselves and unable to extend their own lines of credit with the very risk they had helped to create. When that happened, companies were closing their doors because they were unable to fund these deals. In an attempt to correct or curb their potential loss, they also made it extremely difficult on securing financing on new applications, even those that had a very stable credit history were being declined.
There have been posts of companies pulling out of their deals right before the customer signed their closing papers. As I type this, the Fed's are currently lowering the short term discount rates, the rate at which financial institutions can borrow funds, and since it's now lower, it has allowed consumer confidence to rise. With this rise, they may also lower other interest points to help curb other negative inflationary rates. Most likely, this will reinforce the negative lending habits that were so relative in the late 90's and early part of this century. I believe in history, in that we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. That includes short term as well, and I hope this correction has scared others into being responsible with their lending practices.
I can go on with other examples of incompeting and irresponsible lending practices, but I would like to hear from anybody else about what they are tired about.
The economy appears to be in a tight spiral downward over this credit crunch. In case this is read in the future, we are in a potential problem arising for free flowing credit and the lessening of reqard for credit risk. If you are in credit, you will know terms like debt to income ratio, asset allocation, etc, and for some reason, with the ever growing housing market, the desire to find their place into this burgoening industry, banks and other financial institutions have relaxed their credit requirements to lend to those with not so savory credit. Thus a higher credit risk, and when they lent on Arms, floating interest rates, etc, customers have found themselves in a world of hurt when the Fed's rose the interest rates to curb inflationary factors. By doing this very thing, people started loosing the very asset they pursued, their homes. With foreclosures on the rise, these financial institutions were finding themselves in a credit crunch themselves and unable to extend their own lines of credit with the very risk they had helped to create. When that happened, companies were closing their doors because they were unable to fund these deals. In an attempt to correct or curb their potential loss, they also made it extremely difficult on securing financing on new applications, even those that had a very stable credit history were being declined.
There have been posts of companies pulling out of their deals right before the customer signed their closing papers. As I type this, the Fed's are currently lowering the short term discount rates, the rate at which financial institutions can borrow funds, and since it's now lower, it has allowed consumer confidence to rise. With this rise, they may also lower other interest points to help curb other negative inflationary rates. Most likely, this will reinforce the negative lending habits that were so relative in the late 90's and early part of this century. I believe in history, in that we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. That includes short term as well, and I hope this correction has scared others into being responsible with their lending practices.
I can go on with other examples of incompeting and irresponsible lending practices, but I would like to hear from anybody else about what they are tired about.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Earthquakes in Utah
Growing up in the Western United States, one fact has always been true, It's not if an Earthquake will hit, rather When.
The Richter Scale was developed by Charles Richter in 1935 as a means of categorizing local earthquakes. It is a collection of mathematical formulas that measures the strength or magnatude of earthquakes. More specifically, it's a logarithmic scale that measures the amount of energy released during an earthquake on the basis of the amplitude of the highest peak recorded on a seismogram. Each unit increase in the Richter scale represents a 10-fold increase in the amplitude recorded on the seismogram and a 30-fold increase in energy released by the earthquake. Theoretically the Richter scale has no upper limit, but the yield point of the Earth's rocks imposes an effective limit between 9.0 and 9.5.
One of my houses was built directly on top of the San Andreas Fault in Southern California. This fault is one of the more active faults in the world, and is predicted to deliver a 7+ magnatude earthquake in the San Fernando Basin, near Los Angeles, CA. When I moved to Salt Lake City, UT, I was interested in the environment, such as skiing, hiking, mountain biking, NOT for earthquakes. The wasatch fault is apparently due for a magnatude 7+ earthquake as well. Now, it appears that I cannot avoid having the risk of earthquakes follow me, which is a little unnerving in it own. I started researching this fault line, it's active history, and the potential for destruction. After doing this, for the first time in my life, I am worried. The frequency of this fault shows activity approximately every 1300 to 1700, which according to geologic accounts is approaching 1700 years from the last event.
That type of frequency, the regularity of it has prompted a very profound urgency for emergency preparedness. 72 hour emergecy food kits, tools to shut off gas meters, and instructions on how to secure water heaters and other devices in the house. If an earthquake occurs, not only will there be the typical shifting of earth, a liquification due from the limestone/sandstone composition and high water table will cause extensive damage and deaths as a consquence. The apocolyptic view projected is a very real possibility and with the pressure constantly building and showing signs of stress due to the upshift in the plats have caused emergecy officials to publish seismic reports and safe zones in the cities and rural area's.
For an updated Image of Utah, Please go here http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsus/Maps/US2/39.41.-113.-111.php
Father and Husband
I heard today that my wife and I may be expecting another child, our fourth. I have three other children by other personalities, and I hope this one will be able to relate to me in terms that I can understand, you know, sybil like.
Ok, bad joke. I normally don't talk about this, however, I think I need to publish how I feel about my family. I currently have One daughter (13) and two boys (12 and 7), and the addition on another child will make for a terrifically wild ride. I see alot of me in my children, and the two oldest were infact raised like twins, so again, my bad. They've developed into two very productive and intriguing individuals with views and personalities very complimentary and in some ways just plain funny.
Well, for my wife, she's a very stead fast kind of person. She doesn't like change, however, recently, I've really tested this mantra of her's. You see, health issues have presented some interesting problems, and I have also proceeded on a path to start my own business. As you can probably imagine, the stress level in my house has just elevated to a tune that will parallel the moon in distance. Yet, through all of this, she has supported me in every step, and it is just terrific. For the first time in my life, I am at a loss for words for how I feel.
The sparkle in her eye when she looks at me speaks of volumes, and for that, I am lucky for being in her presence, since it's a feeling like nothing else. We've been married for 14 years, 15 this November, and my feelings for her have grown stronger and stronger.
Ok, bad joke. I normally don't talk about this, however, I think I need to publish how I feel about my family. I currently have One daughter (13) and two boys (12 and 7), and the addition on another child will make for a terrifically wild ride. I see alot of me in my children, and the two oldest were infact raised like twins, so again, my bad. They've developed into two very productive and intriguing individuals with views and personalities very complimentary and in some ways just plain funny.
Well, for my wife, she's a very stead fast kind of person. She doesn't like change, however, recently, I've really tested this mantra of her's. You see, health issues have presented some interesting problems, and I have also proceeded on a path to start my own business. As you can probably imagine, the stress level in my house has just elevated to a tune that will parallel the moon in distance. Yet, through all of this, she has supported me in every step, and it is just terrific. For the first time in my life, I am at a loss for words for how I feel.
The sparkle in her eye when she looks at me speaks of volumes, and for that, I am lucky for being in her presence, since it's a feeling like nothing else. We've been married for 14 years, 15 this November, and my feelings for her have grown stronger and stronger.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
How Would You Fix the Countries ILLS?
How Would You Fix the Countries Ills
This question seems to fill each couch politician around the country. I would like to ask all of you what needs to be fixed and why. Also, a little bit on HOW you would solve these problems.
For example. The TAX code. Simple or Not. That is an inarguable fact. Some of the fixes out there that seem to be making some headway is applying a Flat Tax. This would work if there's no exceptions. For every exception, a new rule or policy needs to be enacted. Every time you do this, it does nothing except add more language that can be misconstrued to help others where the intent was not there.
Please take a moment to think about your answers and post your answers. I really want to know, and I want to research any questions that you may have!!!
Thank You,
This question seems to fill each couch politician around the country. I would like to ask all of you what needs to be fixed and why. Also, a little bit on HOW you would solve these problems.
For example. The TAX code. Simple or Not. That is an inarguable fact. Some of the fixes out there that seem to be making some headway is applying a Flat Tax. This would work if there's no exceptions. For every exception, a new rule or policy needs to be enacted. Every time you do this, it does nothing except add more language that can be misconstrued to help others where the intent was not there.
Please take a moment to think about your answers and post your answers. I really want to know, and I want to research any questions that you may have!!!
Thank You,
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Introduction
Hey out there in blogger land. With the conversion of Blogger to Google, I have the opportunity to start my blog all over again. How nice, don't you think. I had over two gig of entries previously and due to moving and Internet Availability, it took me a while to start again. Oh well, I believe the term is Shit out of Luck.
To introduce myself, I am the lucky husband to a beautiful woman, Stephanie, and I have three beautiful and intelligent children. I find myself wondering what direction my life is going and how that affects their growth and goals. I am a systems engineer and am currently self employed for Solarfinder.net. I chose Solarfinder from the small site scope on a Telescope, since I figured I operated much like that site, or solarfinder, since I help my customers search for technology that best suits their needs. I also assist others that cannot afford, or do not have the knowledge to work with technology. I donate my time in assisting those that do not understand technology through education and experience. I hold workshops for children under the age of 16 that allow them to build, repair, and/or research computers, switches, routers, and various other applications. My goal through all of this is to make technology both available and affordable for everybody.
I know I am sure to have confused everybody, but please take some time to visit my site or my other endeavor at www.nurvetech.com, or Nurve Technologies.
Thanks Y'all.
To introduce myself, I am the lucky husband to a beautiful woman, Stephanie, and I have three beautiful and intelligent children. I find myself wondering what direction my life is going and how that affects their growth and goals. I am a systems engineer and am currently self employed for Solarfinder.net. I chose Solarfinder from the small site scope on a Telescope, since I figured I operated much like that site, or solarfinder, since I help my customers search for technology that best suits their needs. I also assist others that cannot afford, or do not have the knowledge to work with technology. I donate my time in assisting those that do not understand technology through education and experience. I hold workshops for children under the age of 16 that allow them to build, repair, and/or research computers, switches, routers, and various other applications. My goal through all of this is to make technology both available and affordable for everybody.
I know I am sure to have confused everybody, but please take some time to visit my site or my other endeavor at www.nurvetech.com, or Nurve Technologies.
Thanks Y'all.
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